Letters to Lydia: Three Months

Dear sweet Lydia, 

This was a hard month, wasn't it?

A lot of tears have been shed on my part. But even with tears streaming down my face, you were always looking back at me, smiling from ear to ear. You are just what I need. 

The truth is, since about 3 weeks post partum, I've been battling what is known as a "post partum mood disorder" in the form of intense anxiety. And this month, it got the best of me. None of my worries are logical and it's hard to explain, but so much of it is wrapped up in breastfeeding that we have made plans to wean. It breaks my heart to tell you this. You are doing so well. It's not you (except for that latch ;)) it's me. I told myself to make it to three months, and here we are. I wish I could give you more. But I've lost the ability to be a good mother and wife because I am overcome with anxiety. I need to kick these extra hormones to the curb. At your two month check up the doctor was very happy with you. They did confirm you had a minor posterior tongue tie, but advised against clipping it. We were supposed to get your vaccinations done, but they had me administer the rotavirus (via syringe) while they stepped out of the room and you threw it all up, along with your feeding, so we immediately headed home (me in tears) to try again another time. We cancelled your appointment at the Newman Clinic - momma couldn't take anymore advice or things to work on in the breastfeeding department. We introduced one bottle into our routine in the morning because it was crazy trying to nurse you, get your grouchy brother up, and get your sister ready and to school on time. That has been a "relief bottle" for sure. Just before 3 months we did get your vaccinations done, and you weighed in at 14lbs 6oz. 

You have been having more awake time during the days and are enjoying smiling at yourself in mirrors and trying to grasp toys on your play mat. Shortly after your two month birthday you rolled over from your tummy to your back and have been doing that throughout the month. You have become quite lazy again with tummy time, especially now that you've figured out how to escape it! 

There have been a handful of weird evenings this month where you just wanted mommy. It hurt your daddy's feelings a little bit. He usually rocks you to sleep, but on these particular nights, you would scream through the bedtime routine. We weren't sure what was going on, but I decided to take you back to the bedroom and snuggled up next to you in my bed and sure enough, no nursing required, you happily fell asleep. It was so sweet. I want to remember that forever. But don't do it too often, your daddy wants some sweet time with you, too. 

Speaking of him, I'm starting to think you are 98% Dad and 2% Mom (I carried you, after all!). When I look at you - your looks, your love for sleep and snuggling, your laid-back demeanor, the ease with which you smile - I can't help but see so much of your daddy in you. I love it. I'm excited to watch your little personality develop. 

Here's to a better month! 

I love you so much it hurts, baby. 

Mom

Letters to Lydia: One Month

August 4, 2012

My dearest Lydia, 

I still have a vivid memory of seeing you for the first time. As you were finishing your exit, they placed your head on the right side of my lower stomach and I remember thinking "Who is this?! She/he doesn't look like any of us!" When I picked you up to move you to my chest, I saw that you were a girl! Of course you were, I had known all along ;) Later, I was shocked to hear that you weighed 9lbs 8oz! Of course, it felt like you were that big, but I still couldn't believe it! You had no neck - just a big roll of fat. And super-long fingernails. During your first 24 hours on the outside, I don't think you opened your eyes once - very different from your big sister and big brother. We could tell you had been sucking your thumb on the inside, as you quickly found it after being born. But after we showed you the breast, you were more pleased with finding comfort and food in mommy and quickly dropped your little habit. You were definitely an overachiever in the elimination department. Your daddy was a champ changing all those sticky, black poos! And when they weighed you on your third day, sure enough, you had dropped a whopping 15oz - and immediately started looking like an Abel. We just had to get rid of all that fluid build-up first. 

Your brother and sister met you on the evening of your birthday. They were in awe. When we told them your name, Zoe confused it with Olivia, and turned it into Alydia. She called you that for the first day or so until I came up with the idea to give you a nickname in an effort to change her mind. It worked, and that's how you became our little Lydi-bug! 

Your first month was pretty normal for a newborn - you spent your days eating, sleeping, and pooping. In the eating department, you struggle with latching on properly but you are still able to get what you need. You have a characteristic "squeak" when nursing that, while at home is cute and funny, can actually be quite loud and embarrassing when we are out! :) During the first two weeks there were bouts of colic in the evenings but I tried to remind myself that your little system was just working itself out, and sure enough, the "colic" disappeared. You proved difficult to get to sleep for a while. We found what worked was giving you a pinky finger to suck on while walking the halls with our little swaddled bundle. If we tried sitting down in the rocking chair, forget it. Thank you for helping me lose some baby weight :) Once we got you to sleep, however, you were a champ at sleeping long stretches early on (thank you for that, too!) Later in the month, we realized you despised the baby swing and the bouncer and our routine of getting you to sleep proved difficult after Daddy went back to work. But, then, I found you a new swing and it worked like a charm! You started having content awake time and napping in it and mommy was actually able to accomplish things again - like feeding the rest of the family! 

There was an outpouring of love with your arrival. Even as the third child, you received so many beautiful gifts and sentiments from so many lovely friends and family members! We also received lots of delicious meals, which was very helpful this month. Your Daddy and I are so thankful for the support network we have. Among some of the visitors you've had this month are Grandma and Grandpa Abel, who met you on your first day. Grandmommy and Granddaddy, Auntie Jo, Auntie Abi (from AUS!), Uncle Graeme and Aunt Carol Wilson, Aunt Leslie, Hannah, Laura, Bethany, and Carmel to name a "few." We also celebrated your first month birthday with Uncle Daniel and Auntie Lindsay and their four, as well as Uncle Peter and Auntie Karly and the girls. 

You are loved, sweet girl, and we are so happy you're here! 

Love, 

Mommy

P.s. How could I forget?! You started smiling at just 3 weeks old, a major highlight for the month :)  

Letters to Lydia: Two Months

Dusting off the ol' blog to write monthly updates for Lydia. Who says the third child doesn't get much attention? I want to savor the little things and writing these letters will help me with that. I have Lydia's first month highlights, but it's not quite ready to share. So we're starting with 2 months. 

Dearest Lydia, 

Today you are two months old. It's hard to believe you're that old already but we couldn't imagine our lives without you. It's also hard to believe that my first baby girl started school today, too! You all grow up too fast! A few highlights from the last month are:

You have really started kicking! Every time I watch you I think back to how active you were on the inside. Such a little miracle you are. 

Though you started smiling at around three weeks, this month you have been very liberal with your smiles - capturing the hearts of many! Anyone who meets you comments on what a smiley baby you are. For example, when our lactation consultant came for a visit, you not only smiled, but also gave her a giggle immediately when she held you. Shortly thereafter, you also pooped while she was holding you - such manners. I guess you were feeling pretty comfortable around her. ;) And one night while the rest of the family was at Bible class, you and I had a belly laugh session that lasted a few minutes - it was adorable.

You love ceiling fans. 

Tummy time is coming along, though I think you're my laziest baby as far as this is concerned. You're getting there, though. And with the breastfeeding "olympics" we've been trying, you're getting very strong. 

In terms of sleep, you are definitely a third child. You love to sleep. You seem to fall asleep more easily when there are lights on and noise in the background. I usually take you into the living room while the older two are running around like crazy and it doesn't take long for you to drift off. At nap time I wrap you up and carry you in my arms during the hustle and bustle of getting Zoe and Colby down for naps, and you often fall asleep by the time I've sung one song! Very convenient, baby girl! Thank you :) Night time sleep has been unbelievable thus far. Over the last month, I can count on one hand the number of times you've woken up more than once a night or before 4am (after being put down around 10). Many mornings we don't see you until 5 or 5:30. Go, you! After your early morning feed, I roll you onto your tummy in our bed and you sleep soundly there for the rest of the morning, it's completely adorable. 

This month I have been conflicted over how to deal with your eating and sleeping. After meeting the lactation consultant I was told that your eating and sleeping patterns are very unusual for someone your age. You have started a slight descent on the growth charts, however, when you are awake you are the sweetest thing - alert, happy, and cute as can be. You don't cry very much either! We think you must be doing alright. As suggested though, I will try to squeeze in more feedings, but I won't push it too much. We have an appointment at the Newman center in Toronto later this month to try to figure out your latch problems/possible tongue tie?! Breastfeeding has never been easy for your momma, but you are worth the effort! 

Lastly, we took you on your first big road trip! We visited Grandmommy and Granddaddy in Mansfield for our traditional labor day weekend (shrimp boil included). You traveled like a champ and didn't skip much of a beat while we were there. You even got in your first trip to Target!

We love you, sweet Lydia! 

What's Cookin'

I think sharing about good food should be a mandatory public service. When you find something really special, it should be shared with others, right? That being said, consider this a public service announcement :)

I am generally not into cookbooks. I think they're beautiful, but they're also expensive, and I usually don't end up trying enough of the recipes in the book to make it feel worth the cost. However, there is one cookbook to which I find myself going back repeatedly -- and I'm really chuffed about it! (Does that give you a hint as to what it is?) Jamie's Food Revolution. The premise is how to cook simple, delicious, affordable meals. And I should add fresh and healthy (keeping in mind that "healthy" is relative). I won't go into describing Jamie's mission in the U.S., but if you don't know much about him, it's worth looking into.

I wouldn't say that all the recipes are outstanding (then why am I recommending it?) but, rather, when I sit down at the table to eat with my hubby and the quickly growing children, whatever the meal may be lacking in taste, it makes up for in nutritive value. I guess what I'm saying is -- it's not about me anymore. Hands down, every time I serve a dish with msg in it (things made with cream of this or that) Johnnie always thinks it's amazing. Then I frown and say "yep, it's the msg." Don't get me wrong, I think things like that are fine in moderation (donuts are my favorite food and I'm a white sugar/white flour baking queen!) but day to day, I want to serve my family -- my children -- fresh, healthy foods that are going to contribute to good health. So, with that, I have some recommendations (because cookbooks can be so overwhelming!)

Recipe: My Sweet and Sour Pork
This was the first recipe I tried and it remains a favorite! Pork tenderloin in Chinese five-spice powder, red and yellow peppers, fresh ginger (trust me), red onion, heat {optional}, pineapple chunks, serve with basmati rice piled high on butterhead lettuce. Delicious! If you like cilantro, it adds even more freshness!

Recipe: Evolution Tomato Salad
Tomatoes with olive oil and red wine vinegar - delicious. Add salt and pepper. Add black olives if you like. Add a can of cannellini beans. Add a small can of tuna. Simple and healthy lunch!

The chopped salads are amazing and fun!

Recipe: Macaroni and Cauliflower Cheese Bake
Simple and comforting without msg :)

Recipe: A Cracking Burger
A delicious, homemade burger! The cream crackers the original edition calls for are made with lard and not the most healthy choice, but they do make for a delicious texture. The newer book I have calls for unsalted saltines.

Recipe: Chili Con Carne (the recipe that spurred this post)
Hearty and tasty. I was worried about the addition of cinnamon, but it turned out well. Gave it an exotic taste. It felt so good to watch the kids chow down on chickpeas, ground beef from a local farm, carrots, onions, peppers, celery, etc.! Served with basmati; leftovers go on top of baked potatoes.

Recipe: Perfect Roast Chicken
It's been a while since I made this so I don't remember much about it aside from the fact that it was pretty darn perfect.

Recipe: Salmon Baked in a Foil Parcel with Green Beans and Pesto
This was good, but not a favorite. I think that's partly because I grew up on salty canned green beans, still transitioning into liking the fresh stuff. But, again, I feel like eating it because I know it's good for me :) Should add that the salmon took at least 40 minutes to cook (the recipe states 20).

Recipe: Tropical Yogurt
Ripe bananas, unsweetened shredded coconut (let sit overnight in yogurt to soften) and natural unsweetened yogurt. Delicious on our whole wheat buttermilk pancakes with just the slightest drizzle of real maple syrup!

Wow, that was a lot! I'll keep you posted as I explore more recipes. I hope someone out there finds this helpful!

A Weekend of Baking

Sometimes yeast is intimidating and frustrating, like when you follow the directions precisely and your dough not only doesn't rise but still has little balls of yeast in it, too. Bleh. Don't let it get you down. Go back to the store at 10:30pm for more ingredients if you have to, come home, and show that yeast who's boss! It's SO worth it.

Make PW's cinnamon rolls.
Two notes: measure the temperature before adding the yeast (needs to be around 100F) letting it cool for 45min to an hour (as the recipe states) may not be enough time to get it down to that temperature. Use your stand mixer if you have one. So much easier.


I've been dying to try something fun like homemade hostess cupcakes for a while now. So when the Agape in Action fundraiser was looking for cupcakes, I knew just the ones I wanted to make. I wasn't overly excited by the taste, and it was more work than usual (4 bowls, 2 baking pans, 2 pots!), but they turned out pretty cute. Johnnie has a new favorite -- chocolate ganache. He's already placed an order for his birthday cake.

A while ago Colby gave up his morning nap. He still gets pretty cranky around that time, though, so I've been putting him in his crib and letting him "rest" for about 45 minutes. Zoe and I still usually do something that we can only do while he's away and sometimes I do a quick treadmill workout, too. This morning he seemed like he was going to protest, so I found it odd that when I turned the monitor on, he was completely silent the entire time. I figured he may have just been extra tired from the Sunday craziness. When I went up there, though, I spotted something on his sock -- blood. Then I spotted lots of blood on the crib railing. Blood on his teddy, his shirt, his pillow, his blanket! It was everywhere! Why didn't he cry out?! Upon further inspection (turning the light on) I come to find that this blood is
chocolate.
He had a grand old time up there in his crib today. Not one single complaint when you're put to bed with a chocolate egg that fell out of mommy's pocket while she was trying to hide it from sister! whoops.

Man, he needs another haircut.

Embrace the Camera: March 3, 2011 - Photo Booth Edition

When Daddy is away, the mice will play! J is out of town again so I took the kids to the mall to get out of the house and our usual free activity took a turn for the worst (worse?) when I got the brilliant idea to take both of the kids into a photo booth. One teeny tiny little stool that swivels and two children up past nap time = not the greatest pictures in the world (that second picture is awful!). Especially when you consider the $5!! spent (sorry, honey). But, alas, we have a fun memory...right? :)